Caregiver, New Obligations, New Challenges, changing world as she knew it and Major Stress!

So now I need to share some more snapshots of my time in the hospital. I really only remember bits of this time in my life and most of this is what my Wonderful wife has relayed to me.

My wife had requested a bed to be brought into my room and she just moved in! She was now definitely, in charge and she was going to take care of her Husband.

She monitored all the movements and information that she could. She wanted to find someone who could get her some answers. She asked, CAN ANYONE HELP ME FIND OUT OR GIVE ME AN ASWER TO WHAT IS THE OUTLOOK FOR MY HUSBAND? Her world has now been traumatized!

In a marriage, both parties have their own parts of daily life that they assume and perform as a partner in that marriage. Now, in her mind, In a matter of a couple of heartbeats, her husband was immediately pushing her into a very scary place, now a caregiver!`

The scary thing for her now is to try and process what this new word caregiver is,

• She will still have to perform her own normal activities as usual as part of her life,
• She potentially could now have to perform her Husband’s work,
• She potentially could now have to perform collectively both of our work,

A caregiver is one of the most needed, overwhelmed, overworked and valuable persons in the life off a disabled person. They are under thank and most time are motivated by fear, care, love and the desire to help as best they can in whatever way they can.

My wife was my best motivator and her pushing me was one part of the miracle of my recovery.

Barriers Removed?

What is a barrier?

·         Steps,

·         Narrow doorways,

·         Small bathrooms, with a bathtub only

·         Knob hardware on doors or Kitchen and bathroom fixtures 

·         Plush thick carpet,

·         Lighting (lack of it or old florescent lighting)

·         Sharp 90 degree corners on cabinet that if you don’t lean on it carefully or your hand slips, may cause you harm

·         etc..

      1.       These could be some barriers you might have in yours or a loved one’s home!

2.       What can you do to pre-plan for the future?

In your planning for a new homes, plan a,

·         Level entry to home from parking or garage area

·         Wider hallways, and doorways, using Lever hardware with return on the lever

·         Clear space in and out of rooms (for turning with canes, walker or wheel chairs)

·         Roll in or transfer shower on main level

·         Lever hardware on faucets and shower valve.

·         Hand held shower with slide rail (not a slide rail that extends out into your shower area. Slide rails are only put in the wall with a couple of small screws. There is a relatively flat one that doesn’t give a false sense if you are to slip.

·         Grabbars and hand rails or at least install backing

·         Install grabbars instead of towel bars etc..

·         18” high toilet, so you won’t have to bend down so low to use the toilet.

·         Front or side controls for range or cook top so you don’t have to reach over hot burners to adjust your stove

·         Side by side refrigerator so more items are at a more convenient or reachable level

·         Contrasting colors for grabbars or hand rails so your eyes will pick them up, more easily

·         More light in each room and less dark surrounding so that items can be seen more clearly

YOUR, Existing home
              
                   What is the Disability?

           Age, Stroke, Heart attack, MD, M/S, etc.

                              Evaluate the need, with a concern for,
                           
                                      What are today’s, needs?

What will work today and hopefully keep working tomorrow?

 What is your goal? Does living in your own home fit into your goal?

      ·    Try and stretch your need planning to at least a 2 Year window

a.       What was your access and ability in your life, 2 years ago?

b.      What is your access issues, Today?

c.       And what do you think your access issue will look like in 2 years

·         Upper and lower body strength, grasp, vision, dexterity.

·         What will work best, with the amount of room or rooms available

·         Money,

a.       What kind of funded or personal assets are available,

b.      What can you fit into that goal to stay at your home?

Some simple Solutions!

Hand held shower with slide rail

Get a shower chair for yourself

Remove glass shower doors and replace with shower curtain

·         Glass doors look nice but are a hazard if you were to fall in the tub or shower. If you should fall then time is usually the issue and the doors many times will need to be removed quickly to extricate  you or if you did break the glass in your fall, then one mess creates another etc,

·         18” toilet

·         Lever hardware on doors and faucets

·         Swing clear hinges to open doorways for clearer entry, these hinges will give you back the 1 ½” width that you takes up each time you open it. These work great!

·         Grabbars and hand rails replace towel bar to remove this handhold

·         Ramps, Threshold and exterior, long or short aluminum or wood

·         Threshold ramps rubber or aluminum.

·         etc.

Concept to Reality, why not?

I wrote this letter in, I beleive 1997 for the Home Builder Association and was read on the platform in Washington D.C. It was not well received because the builders didn't think that the added cost (minimal) was worth the effort!

 Living in a non perfect world as we all know we do, each of us are a heart beat away from the possibility of a major problem.  Each day we hear of a friend, acquaintance or a family member with a special need.  The problem could be a stroke, car accident or a slip on an icy step, this is how fast it can happen, and this is just the beginning.

Now this imaginary person could be you or a close family member. If this scenario were to happen to you, and you were unable to move freely on your own, what next? Would you have the ability to quickly set your home or living facility up to accommodate your needs?  Could you use your own bathroom or shower or maneuver throughout your own home without assistance? This is a very real situation in this life and needs to be addressed today, so that tomorrow you can be better prepared.

Universal Design is the simplest, most user friendly building concept and offers to all of us the biggest bang for our buck.  In the building industry quality, affordability and staying competitive are very important.  When using the universal design concept in your building it will add many very inexpensive but useful extras.

1.   Install wider doorways on main floor

2.Increase size of halls to 48”

3.Use lever hardware for doors         

4.Put shower on main floor.

5.   Use lever bath ware.  (There are many affordable models to choose from)

6.   Use some jobsite scraps of wood to put in backing around the toilet in the shower area, in the hallway, kitchen area etc. for easy install of grab bars or hand rail.

7.Attempt to have one easy access entry into home

 If a few of these guidelines were utilized in our every day building concept then we have the opportunity to offer a greater package for a very small amount of money.  One of the biggest feature to this design is, the people living in these home’s will have a longer time to live independently. They will be able to stay in there home atmosphere longer instead of being forced into a care facility, because they are already preparing or have prepared for the inevitable, or the unforeseen.

Duane Bishop

I am a 43 years old salesman and have been working very hard to relay to the public how easy we can accommodate more people.  In the last 3 years I have had to remove my self from the salesman role and step into the messenger role.  All I want to do know is to bring a few fairly inexpensive ideas to the table and allow more options for more people.

Access up and down a ramp for YOUR Home!

Home modifications and access to homes for the Disabled community in Washington State are a major issue. This particular issue is about the need for all involved to comply with the safety standards and the laws we have. The safety of our citizens is priority one. This is a standards issue that is constantly being compromised due to many factors such as time, lack of knowledge or money.

In regards to ramps, agencies, good intentioned Groups or organizations etc… many times are putting a couple of pieces of plywood together regardless of the height, length or safety issues. Although this seems to satisfy that need for a ramp, in many cases the problems for the person in need have just begun?

Many ramps are made to fit between the steps and the current sidewalk etc..  regardless of the actual height of, or distance needed to properly allow access. We need to comply with the 1:12 guideline. Under some conditions 1:10 is acceptable.

In some cases the surface of the plywood is left bare and this alone creates a dangerous slick and unacceptable answer. Then the next step in saving money many times is to place rolled roofing on top of the plywood to create a non-skid surface.

This (roofing/rollway matter) will only last but a short time before the wheels of the chair begins cutting into this surface. Each time the person uses the ramp the grit, designed for a roof surface not a traveled on surface begins to be tracked in and out of the house. Due to its specific designated design it will shortly begin picking up the black tar in the roofing also.

We are required to have a 5' foot level landing at the top and bottom of the ramp and many times to save money, the bottom of the ramp, is the bottom of the job. In many applications like a rural setting or main access from an alley only etc. this will create another unpleasant condition by leaving the person in the dirt, and unable to stay clean or load/unload properly.

The handrails are another item that seems to have many interpretations. The fact is many are using 2x4s placed flat on the top of a vertical post. This seems to be the fastest, cheapest and easiest answer. This is the not what was designed for a ramp handrail. Safety first, please!

These are a few of the big issues but the bottom line is we need to treat others, as we like to be treated. Good intentions, trying to save a buck and sympathy should not compromise anyone's safety or ability.

There are other ramp issues like:

1.      Locations that sometimes compromises safety so not to disturb the esthetics.

2.      Bottom landing ending in street, use of this for the level area.

3.      No use of kick rail etc…

We can chat more about this subject later!

Well, now It‘s Monday Mourning!

Another memory Snap shot!

It’s sometime the next morning and I’m still very sick, (I was told)! The doctors are trying to figure me out and they still don’t know what’s going on with me or what has happened.

Our family Dr. (Dr. John) came to the hospital. I have Zero memory of him coming into the room or how long he had been in the room before the next thing happened but,,,, Yahoo, I have another significant impact moment that allowed me this particular memory snap shot!

Dr John ran something up the bottom of my foot and my reaction to that test set off a light in his head. He immediately said something like he had a stroke and ordered up an MRI for me.

I vividly remember this moment! I can see his face, hear his voice and remember that word, Stroke while he was standing at the foot of my bed.  It was shocking to hear but then boom, thats the end of that memory snap shot.

By him running his thumb nail or an object up the bottom of my foot he was performing a test called the Babinski reflex! http://youtu.be/kOq5Np0eZ6A   Babinski reflex is an important neurologic test based, believe it or not, upon what the big toe does when the sole of the foot is stimulated.

My foot and toe reaction gave away a huge clue to my body’s secret through that simple test.

I was sent out for an MRI, (we will chat about that snap shot later) and it was confirmed that indeed did have a stroke. Thank you Dr. John for being so wise!

The MRI showed that I had an aneurysm in my right vertebral artery and the shunt of blood to my brain, had caused my stroke.

My Soul mate and the Awesome Love of my life, my Wife was relieved but now very scared because all she knew was, you have a stroke, you live for a bit, then, you Die. It was a tough mourning for her!

Now I am absolutely no help to her regarding making any real decision on basic life issues or offering help to her, etc.., she was now under a great deal of pressure. Instantly, she has been thrust into being a caregiver. She now had to think about hers, mine and our particular parts to running life, what is his outcome going to be, how are we going to pay the bills, how will we…... The caregiver role is completely overwhelming and such a vital role.

The good news, (I Don’t remembers, she told me) was that we now have a diagnosis, and a goal to work towards, we can beat it!

Sometimes, Life tosses us some really tough times but we can’t just give up over them. When these trials come up in our lives, we have two choices. We can sit around and feel sorry for ourselves and live the poor me card or we can pull ourselves up by our boot straps and start to feel, heal and deal with the daily walk.

When we take our eyes off of ourselves and look around, we will usually find that there are many others in your community that have it much worse than ourselves!!!

Have a great life!